Donnerstag, März 22, 2007
Going Leftie Part 1 1/2, Blogs, and why objects can be friends, too
My going leftie project is not overly successfull at the moment. By now I have become used to looking at my right arm when checking for the time, so it is about time I start a new project - but as of now, I am unsure of what it might be. I will see tomorrow. Most likely I will start using my left hand to pick up things, throw things etc...
Blogs I find increasingly intrigueing. This is a very quiet blog, yet it is a deep one - not many people read it, but there is quite some honesty in there, even if hidden behind a lot of language. I want to be more open - yet I have realised that I can hurt so many people if I am just plain honest. While hurting people is bad enough, doing so over the internet would be disastrous.
These days I sometimes feel a little lonely. Not lonely in the sense that there is nobody whom I could go to - but lonely as in that there isn't anyone there just then. A lot of that has to do with security. Can objects be friends? So often I think of my green coat as a source of comfort when I need it, maybe like a friend. Sometimes my schedule is my friend because it tells me what I should do, something many of my friends here could never do. Maybe right now the beer I am drinking is my friend, for it keeps me company. I don't expect anyone else to - but I would like it, in a way. (Although I have to be careful here, for saying that an alcoholic drink is a friend is putting me quite close to alcoholism ;) ) I wish the essay I should write would become my friend, too...
And not to avoid the topic, a word on emotions - I wish I could tell myself to feel what I should feel, rather than what I do feel. Maybe I just feel too much. Maybe I think of feelings the same way I think of many objects - I am afraid to lose them, for they *might* be handy again one day. But of course that creates more conflicts than it solves and makes up all that baggage that I can take only if it is all that I can't leave behind.
Finally, a picture: Last Friday was election day. I campaigned for an "opinion poll" on ethical investment and bounced about one day as the "green fairy"/"ethical superhero". Can't say I didn't enjoy it, although it is a bit freaky meeting people now for whom their first impression of me was as that green thing...
Current Music: The Arcade Fire - My Body is a Cage
Blogs I find increasingly intrigueing. This is a very quiet blog, yet it is a deep one - not many people read it, but there is quite some honesty in there, even if hidden behind a lot of language. I want to be more open - yet I have realised that I can hurt so many people if I am just plain honest. While hurting people is bad enough, doing so over the internet would be disastrous.
These days I sometimes feel a little lonely. Not lonely in the sense that there is nobody whom I could go to - but lonely as in that there isn't anyone there just then. A lot of that has to do with security. Can objects be friends? So often I think of my green coat as a source of comfort when I need it, maybe like a friend. Sometimes my schedule is my friend because it tells me what I should do, something many of my friends here could never do. Maybe right now the beer I am drinking is my friend, for it keeps me company. I don't expect anyone else to - but I would like it, in a way. (Although I have to be careful here, for saying that an alcoholic drink is a friend is putting me quite close to alcoholism ;) ) I wish the essay I should write would become my friend, too...
And not to avoid the topic, a word on emotions - I wish I could tell myself to feel what I should feel, rather than what I do feel. Maybe I just feel too much. Maybe I think of feelings the same way I think of many objects - I am afraid to lose them, for they *might* be handy again one day. But of course that creates more conflicts than it solves and makes up all that baggage that I can take only if it is all that I can't leave behind.
Finally, a picture: Last Friday was election day. I campaigned for an "opinion poll" on ethical investment and bounced about one day as the "green fairy"/"ethical superhero". Can't say I didn't enjoy it, although it is a bit freaky meeting people now for whom their first impression of me was as that green thing...
Current Music: The Arcade Fire - My Body is a Cage
# posted by derniko : 03:02
