Sonntag, November 19, 2006
On Frost, Orion and Emotions (the mysterious changing of)
This night, the streets of St Andrews are shiny with many small ice crystals. Officially it is still four degrees outside at this moment - yet the ground is covered in a thin layer of slippery ice every now and then. Winter is at our doorstep, sooner than I would have thought.
Today was also one of the first nights that I went out to the sea and did not see Orion. Confused, I looked around at first, maybe he had moved. Eventually I realised that I could not see any stars at all, really. And I realised that it was cloudy at night for the first time in at least a week. Even though it's been raining a fair bit the last week, I have always looked up at a clear sky at night. Which I came to much appreciate in the minutes following.
It is these realisations that can put me into a transcended mood, the floaty one. I had a brilliant day. It had it's other sides - but at the end of the day you're another day older, and it is what you make of how you feel now that will make you feel the next moment.
Current Music: The Triangles - Let's Replace the Cityscapes
Today was also one of the first nights that I went out to the sea and did not see Orion. Confused, I looked around at first, maybe he had moved. Eventually I realised that I could not see any stars at all, really. And I realised that it was cloudy at night for the first time in at least a week. Even though it's been raining a fair bit the last week, I have always looked up at a clear sky at night. Which I came to much appreciate in the minutes following.
It is these realisations that can put me into a transcended mood, the floaty one. I had a brilliant day. It had it's other sides - but at the end of the day you're another day older, and it is what you make of how you feel now that will make you feel the next moment.
Current Music: The Triangles - Let's Replace the Cityscapes
Sonntag, November 12, 2006
Vapid
vap‧id /ˈvæpɪd/
–adjective
1. lacking or having lost life, sharpness, or flavor; insipid; flat: vapid tea.
2. without liveliness or spirit; dull or tedious: a vapid party; vapid conversation.
This morning all that I wrote last night seems ridiculous, over-dramatised, poeticised, pointless, in one of my moods. This morning I am in my other mood. This morning all I want is to get away from here. I "cannot be bothered" to do things, and sit in bed not knowing where to go, when there is everything to do. All seems vapid, and I join in.
Or maybe I was right last night in saying that I just need to elevate my lifeline. Just get over myself, and the rest will come naturally.
Current Music: The Dresden Dolls - Sex Changes
–adjective
1. lacking or having lost life, sharpness, or flavor; insipid; flat: vapid tea.
2. without liveliness or spirit; dull or tedious: a vapid party; vapid conversation.
This morning all that I wrote last night seems ridiculous, over-dramatised, poeticised, pointless, in one of my moods. This morning I am in my other mood. This morning all I want is to get away from here. I "cannot be bothered" to do things, and sit in bed not knowing where to go, when there is everything to do. All seems vapid, and I join in.
Or maybe I was right last night in saying that I just need to elevate my lifeline. Just get over myself, and the rest will come naturally.
Current Music: The Dresden Dolls - Sex Changes
Lifelines
Many thoughts for one evening.
Ich bin ausgekühlt.
No man is an island.
Ich hänge an keiner Heimat.
I am a nomad.
Doch bin ich abhängig.
I hang (myself) on (to) my lifelines (far too often).
I walk through the world with a crayon dragging behind me, leaving my mark. Different places, different people, and I use different colours. My lifeline is continuous.
That does not keep it from looping. Last week it looped back onto itself, maybe. When I treaded the beach this evening, Orion was just where it was a week ago.
I decided to elevate my lifeline - give it a new shape, a different pattern, or a different breadth. Clean slate, different chapter, same line.
When my line seemed to lose itself, I went inside (myself) to trace it. I went outside to follow it. I wanted to see it draw behind me.
The walk took me onto the pier - a dead end. Fortunately there is somebody who can tell me that there is always a second way out of a blocked path - and I continued drawing my line, never twice in the same place. Patterns flickering with every word I spoke, every phrase I heard.
When I had returned, Orion had moved. Yet here I was, my line on the dark pavement behind me, a small loop. I had done it again - but it had moved me, in time by an hour, in space by very little, emotionally the distance - when really I had only walked back and forth, tracing my past line while drawing the future one.
Tomorrow I will draw my line with new enthusiasm. This is my line. I walk the line, I draw the line, I move on. This has long become part of my line - but it may need a dead end and wise words for me to see.
Current Music: Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah
Ich bin ausgekühlt.
No man is an island.
Ich hänge an keiner Heimat.
I am a nomad.
Doch bin ich abhängig.
I hang (myself) on (to) my lifelines (far too often).
I walk through the world with a crayon dragging behind me, leaving my mark. Different places, different people, and I use different colours. My lifeline is continuous.
That does not keep it from looping. Last week it looped back onto itself, maybe. When I treaded the beach this evening, Orion was just where it was a week ago.
I decided to elevate my lifeline - give it a new shape, a different pattern, or a different breadth. Clean slate, different chapter, same line.
When my line seemed to lose itself, I went inside (myself) to trace it. I went outside to follow it. I wanted to see it draw behind me.
The walk took me onto the pier - a dead end. Fortunately there is somebody who can tell me that there is always a second way out of a blocked path - and I continued drawing my line, never twice in the same place. Patterns flickering with every word I spoke, every phrase I heard.
When I had returned, Orion had moved. Yet here I was, my line on the dark pavement behind me, a small loop. I had done it again - but it had moved me, in time by an hour, in space by very little, emotionally the distance - when really I had only walked back and forth, tracing my past line while drawing the future one.
Tomorrow I will draw my line with new enthusiasm. This is my line. I walk the line, I draw the line, I move on. This has long become part of my line - but it may need a dead end and wise words for me to see.
Current Music: Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah
Freitag, November 03, 2006
Grr!
90 minutes, 1000 words. The final countdown. Then London :) .
And across from me a guy who keeps pulling up his snort every two seconds. In between he picks his nose in the exact same spot, with clawlike fingers. Then he removes the bogey, rolls it, throws it behind him, continues typing. Sniffles, bites his nails, picks his nose again. I have seriously never seen anyone picking their nose this openly this often this persistently and especially, right in my face.
If I survive this, I can only hope I won't have someone like that on the night bus...
Grrr, I never would have thought a guy could annoy me so so much! I'm just stressed ;) . Back to Hume and induction ;)
Current Music: The Shins - Australia
EDIT: 18.10, and I have handed in my essay a few minutes late. The other one I handed in this noon. Now I'm off to the capital and for my mini-trip around the UK. Packing in a few minutes. This will be fun ;) . But hey - I've done it!
And across from me a guy who keeps pulling up his snort every two seconds. In between he picks his nose in the exact same spot, with clawlike fingers. Then he removes the bogey, rolls it, throws it behind him, continues typing. Sniffles, bites his nails, picks his nose again. I have seriously never seen anyone picking their nose this openly this often this persistently and especially, right in my face.
If I survive this, I can only hope I won't have someone like that on the night bus...
Grrr, I never would have thought a guy could annoy me so so much! I'm just stressed ;) . Back to Hume and induction ;)
Current Music: The Shins - Australia
EDIT: 18.10, and I have handed in my essay a few minutes late. The other one I handed in this noon. Now I'm off to the capital and for my mini-trip around the UK. Packing in a few minutes. This will be fun ;) . But hey - I've done it!
Donnerstag, November 02, 2006
Essays!
I've defeated Hobbes and St Augustine. 2500 words, maybe my best so far, probably the one I have the worst feeling of so far.
Now I am attempting to defeat Plato, or rather his idea of piety in the socratic dialogue "Euthyphro".
And tomorrow I will defeat the problem of induction as it is known to the philosophy of science.
I'll rest my by then surely grilled brain on an overnight bus ride down to the capital as the start of my week-long break Friday night. Staying there for a few days, then off to near Birmingham to see my girlfriend for a few days. And the last night of my break in a mysterious location somewhere in the UK - I've yet to make a choice.
If you're down in London this weekend, let me know if you want to meet up. Similarly, if you're around Birmingham or Warwick, let me know. And if you have an idea where I could spend a Saturday/Sunday within a day's travelling distance from St Andrews, as well ;) .
Otherwise the jester will just come and get you... *jingle*
[If it wasn't for the work, I think I'd be having the time of my life at least half of these days...]
Current Music: The Decemberists - The Crane Wife Pt. III
Now I am attempting to defeat Plato, or rather his idea of piety in the socratic dialogue "Euthyphro".
And tomorrow I will defeat the problem of induction as it is known to the philosophy of science.
I'll rest my by then surely grilled brain on an overnight bus ride down to the capital as the start of my week-long break Friday night. Staying there for a few days, then off to near Birmingham to see my girlfriend for a few days. And the last night of my break in a mysterious location somewhere in the UK - I've yet to make a choice.
If you're down in London this weekend, let me know if you want to meet up. Similarly, if you're around Birmingham or Warwick, let me know. And if you have an idea where I could spend a Saturday/Sunday within a day's travelling distance from St Andrews, as well ;) .
Otherwise the jester will just come and get you... *jingle*
[If it wasn't for the work, I think I'd be having the time of my life at least half of these days...]
Current Music: The Decemberists - The Crane Wife Pt. III
