Vonfuse(d) Me

... I have apparently been set up to fail. It happened a few weeks ago. I had dreaded the exam for nearly two years then, but knew that the sooner it would come the sooner I would know how I would do in it. I failed it. It is the first exam I have ever failed, properly failed. And that made my week. But let me explain ;) .

The exam was the medical check-up to see whether I was fit for the army in Germany. The system here works in stages. First, you are invited to the medical test. There they examine you head-to-toe, including an examination of testicles (any medic who can explain to me why the german army is interested in my family jewels??), before subjecting you to an ability test to see which part of the army you would be suitable for. The next stage would be to see whether you want to join the army, or do civil service. Alternatively, one can do a volunteer option, as long as it is recognised (which aren't that many). And after that you're in the system. You can make an appeal to a decision made by them at any stage during this process. Many people make the formal request to be freed from military service, and do civil service instead. I would have done that, too. Now the problem is that you can make the request as early as the medical check-up, and indeed, they ask you whether you want to do so several times. But you can also do it later. And currently, much more people are needed for civil service than for the army. It is therefore easier to be considered "fit" if they know you don't want to join the army later, anyways.

I kept my options open, and said I'd be interested in joining the army. They examined me, the doctor kept telling me I had to take more care of my health, and that my back and my knee looked horrible. Whether I had any pain, he asked, and when I replied I didn't, he was astounded and said "well, with that back you should do"... I had to go to another doctor the next morning, who only confirmed what I had hoped - I was unfit for the army, I failed the medical test, I will never hear from them again, and I will be able to do a volunteer option without leaving Germany illegally and committing treason :) .

Today I found out I've been more or less set up to fail. My own doctor examined my back and knee today, and didn't find anything severe. They are both damaged, but not nearly as badly as they made it look. Wondered whether it would be appropiate to drop off a good bottle of wine with a note attached "thank you - my doctor told me today you made me a present" at the army office for the doctor there, hmm... ;)

On another note: I passed an exam, too. The first part of my driving lesson, the dry theory, is done and over with, as of yesterday afternoon. Now for the practical sometime next week, hopefully, and then maybe there'll be a wild niko out on the roads of Europe...

Current Music: Mew - The Zookeeper's Boy