Vonfuse(d) Me

I've just come back from a ball in one of the other halls of residence here and its afterparty (or rather, tea to warm up), and I'm not sure whether there is any point in going to bed at all. I have a meeting in a bit more than 4 hours, I have a lot to prepare for classes.
I wish somebody could hug me (but I am in my sleeping bag after all). I wish I could leave this darn place for a little while, hover above it, observe its pathetic happenings from a distance apathetically. I wish I could see tomorrow in a different light from tonight's perspective. I wish I could tell certain people how disappointed I am without disappointing myself. Or maybe I just wish I could forget to care and come back in a few weeks, when I'll know what he's after.
I hope I will slowly get drunk now. I hope I'll manage to work myself senseless this week. I hope I'll be able to tire myself, to sleep. Alternatively, to break down, to cry.
I know I should get over myself. I will try. But I have another few hours, a lot of Finlandia, and Bonnie Tyler before I'll have to try...
Every now and then I fall apart ... Forever is going to start tonight

Current Music: Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse

PS: If this song reminds me of one thing, it is of Flekke. When I listen to it, I think of Flekke. And everything gains meaning only in contrast to Flekke, in contrast to the song.


EDIT: It is now after 9 in the morning. I am still awake, even though I fell asleep for an hour. Still not feeling drunk, damn. Will see whether I'll just continue drinking or what will happen...